Feel Better, One Small Joy at a Time
By Ces Lowdermilk, Tuesday Foods Health Coach
The world we live in is a loud and activating. It's always asking us to check one more notification, watch one more video, or scroll just a little, a few minutes longer. And while this can feel rewarding and entertaining in the moment, it often leaves us restless, disconnected, and unsatisfied. What's happening isn't just about distraction; it's about how our brain's chemistry of dopamine and serotonin gets pulled out of balance. Our world at this time is fueled by a 24-hour news cycle that tends to make us feel like we cannot unplug or live without access to every breaking news story.
Dopamine vs. Serotonin: Quick Hits versus Deep Nourishment
Dopamine is the spark that makes us crave, chase, and reach for more. It's why we grab our phones, why we get excited for dessert, and why we feel a rush when someone "likes" our post. It's not bad, yet it leaves us feeling empty and searching outside of ourselves. Serotonin, though, is different. It's the gentle hum of contentment. It's the feeling I get when I'm out walking my dog and feeling the sun touch my cheeks, or when I'm hugging a tree because I need that feeling of groundedness. There is a deep satisfaction that comes from summiting a mountain or completing a significant project. Serotonin is steady, grounding, and nourishing. The trouble is, in a world overflowing with instant gratification, dopamine takes center stage and serotonin gets drowned out.
How Social Media Hijacks Our Pleasure
Social media platforms are built on unpredictability: the next like, comment, or funny video. Each one gives us a quick dopamine spike. But just like eating too much sugar, it eventually numbs us. Suddenly, the small but meaningful joys, such as making a home-cooked meal, journaling, and sitting in silence, don't feel as satisfying compared to the constant scroll on Instagram or TikTok. In Dopamine Nation, Dr. Anna Lembke explains how pleasure and pain live on the same seesaw in the brain. Every time we overload on pleasure, the seesaw tips, and our brains push us into pain or emptiness to restore balance. That's why, after hours of scrolling, we feel depleted instead of restored. It can almost feel like modern technology for communication and connection is doing nearly the exact opposite of what we desire to happen.
The Dopamine Menu: A Gentle Guide Back to Personal Alignment
This is where the idea of a dopamine menu comes in. Instead of defaulting to numbing habits, you create a list of intentional activities that bring you real joy and nourishment. Think of it as a personal reset for your energy and attention.
On my dopamine menu, you'll find:
• High-energy, uplifting activities: A hike up Snowmass, a cold plunge in the river, and a dance class. These light up my dopamine in ways that leave me stronger and energized, rather than drained.
• Grounding, serotonin-building activities: journaling over morning coffee, strolling through the forest with my dog, sitting in meditation, or connecting with someone I love. These root me back into myself.
• Simple resets: folding laundry, making my bed, watering my plants, breathing deeply with one hand on my heart. These help me pause without overstimulating my system.
The point isn't to cut out pleasure. It's about choosing pleasures that heal instead of numb.
Make Your Own Dopamine Menu
Creating your own menu is a simple and personal experience. Here's an outline you can try:
1. High-Energy / Uplifting
What activities allow you to feel healthy and expansive?
Example: exercise, cold plunges, learning something new, creative projects.
2. Grounding / Serotonin-Building
What activities leave you feeling calm, connected, and nourished?
Example: meditation, slow walks, deep conversations, gardening
3. Neutral Resets
What simple actions help you reset without overstimulation?
Example: drinking tea, cleaning a room, mindful breathing, listening to binaural beats.
Start by writing 3–5 ideas under each category and keep your menu somewhere you'll see it, such as a journal, your fridge, or even as a note on your phone. The next time you feel the urge to reach for a numbing habit, pause and choose something from your menu instead.
Why It Works:
Our nervous systems weren't designed for endless stimulation, and many of us are living in what Dr. Lembke calls a "dopamine deficit state," always chasing but never satisfied. Creating a personalized dopamine menu helps us break that cycle and reconnect with our own nervous system and unique sense of pleasure. It gives us a way to reset and allow our minds, bodies, and spirits to align in harmony. So next time you feel yourself reaching for your phone to fill time or because you are looking to distract from a bad mood or painful emotion, pause and ask: Is this going to nourish me, or is this going to numb me? That little question is more powerful! It's the beginning of rewiring your brain, reclaiming your peace, and finding joy in the simple, beautiful moments and connection to yourself and others.
